I, Alhamdulillah, have always been Muslim. Prayer. Fasting. Covered. The whole nine yards. But it wasn’t until that one fateful day on September 1st, 2011 that I really identified with my deen. Rube had just undergone a 5-hour robotic surgery and the surgeon had discovered that his cancer had hit Stage 4 in a matter of a few weeks. I remember Dr. Belizan telling me that he had removed all of the tumor that was visible to him but it was very likely that the cancer would be back.
And so I cried. Cried till I couldn’t cry anymore. It felt like someone had taken away all hope of Rube ever being okay. But then, my mother-in-law told me I needed to be strong for her son and not let him see me cry-that he depended on my strength. And so I went to Rube, told him I was done with crying and being sad and that I was going to just keep on praying.
That day, I placed my forehead on the floor and for the first time, felt myself drowing with duaas. My heart felt lighter and my soul felt free. I begged Allah to make things easier and to do what was best for all of us, especially Rube.
The next 7 months were the hardest times of our lives. We would all fall asleep thinking of Rube and wake up thinking of Rube. I woke up many mornings, hoping he hadn’t passed away without me by his side.
But subhanallah, my duaas for ease and the best for us ultimately came through. Especially for him. After two years of fighting, he finally won and drifted into a peaceful sleep. The day he passed, his dad said: “Tonight, I can sleep in peace because my son can finally sleep.”
As for me, I am still waiting on “the best” to happen. Although, some of it may have already happened. I don’t question things and why they happened. Rather, I trust Allah and know from the bottom of my soul that He did what was best for me. And that is why I have become ReMuslimed. And that is the best thing to ever happen to me.
Because being Muslim is not just about praying and fasting but also about trusting The Creator and leaving things out of our control in His trusting hands. It’s about loving Him and through that Love, loving everything else.
Dear God, I trust you. And I pray that meeting you will be the Best thing to happen out of everything else in this world.